Be Yourself, Be Yourself, How you go de advise person wen no get sense to be yourself?

Since I be small pickin, I don de hear "Just be yourself! Your authentic self is your superpower! There is no other You!"

I believe am, I hold am tight for chest enter adulthood, I even carry am enter office. The wahala be say this my "authentic self" was both timid (avoiding confrontations), and tends to overthink everything.

My first job in Marketing, no be small thing I see. E be like my plane de crash land instead when e go de take off. My ideas and suggestions seem to make sense to only me and my authentic self. Even my presentations just de one kind, E no good, but e also no bad. My networking attempts were awkward; my timid self could not even handle small talks.

I discussed my frustrations at work with one of my senior aunties wen be big woman for our eye, and amidst her comments and advice, she said the word "Just be yourself, your day will come". Na there wahala start, I almost want throw somersault, advise wen be like say e de carry me go backwards in life. She sef see am for my face that I was in violent disagreement with her advice.

I responded calmly, the "people that were running things in the office seemed to be fluent in a language I didn’t speak”. They were confident, articulate, and seemed to possess an innate understanding of the professional dance. My "authentic office self" felt like person wen carry Ghana must go bag enter business class.

Anyway, back to the office. One day, during an important brainstorming session, Ngozi, one of the movers and shakers stated an idea, and everyone seemed to like it, except me. Not because I de beef Ngozi, but because I had mentioned that same idea earlier. How come Ngozi’s version made sense and mine did not?

At first, e pain me, Ngozi don de take my shine, but the soft voice said to me, which shine, do you have shine, let alone the one that someone is taking? Truth be told, Ngozi was everything I desired to be – poised, persuasive, and could effortlessly command a room.

What Ngozi had done was taken my somewhat muddled concept, polished it with her sharp insights, and presented it with such clarity and conviction that the room buzzed with approval.

The soft voice said to me, Maybe "being like Ngozi was a better way than being myself". Maybe "myself" needs an upgrade.

Ngozi no sharp reach me naa... me, efiko, wen de finish with first class. I started observing her. How she articulated her points with unwavering eye contact. How she structured her arguments logically, building a compelling narrative. How she handled objections with grace and confidence, never getting defensive. I started paying attention to how she phrased her emails, the assertive yet respectful tone.

Omo, as Ngozi take thief my idea, me sef begin thief her pattern. I always asked myself, what would Ngozi do? What would Ngozi say?

At first, it felt…inauthentic, like an amateur actor wen no know wetin e de do. But then, as I consciously adopted these new behaviors, things begin change. I started seeing results. E come be like say I get sense – My ideas were heard more often. My presentations became clearer and more impactful. People sef come de try network with me. Levels begin change. I don upgrade, me sef no small naa.

The truth, some people no get sense, some people no sabi many things, and yet we advise them to be themselves. I quickly began to realize, was that "being yourself" is a passive acceptance of who you are right now, ignoring the potential for growth. Seeking however, to be like someone better than you is a starting point to becoming a version of you, one deliberate step at a time.

Are you feeling inadequate in any aspect of your life or work, I suggest you find someone that does that thing better than you, and seek to consciously try to be like them, until that yourself becomes better.